The Science of Online Business Podcast

The Downfall of Harmful Marketing and the Rise of Ethical Tactics

• Jess O'Connell • Episode 159

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There's an unspoken rule in the marketing world: exploit your customers' insecurities.

But what if we told you, this is a detrimental practice that can do more harm than good? In this conversation, we're taking a stand against harmful marketing techniques that toy with potential customers' self-worth. We dissect the prevalent use of unwanted identities in marketing, a manipulative strategy that shames customers into buying. We argue that it's high time we abandon this trend and replace it with more uplifting and empowering alternatives.

We're also challenging the norm of pressurizing sales tactics and unrealistic promises. Let's dive into the importance of setting honest expectations and presenting authentic data to customers. We question the ethics behind showcasing only the top testimonials, a practice that can be quite misleading.

Our aim is to redefine marketing norms, promoting a more ethical approach. Because we strongly believe that we can set a new, positive standard for future marketing practices. Join us as we strive to create a better marketing experience for our customers.

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Speaker 1:

Today's episode might ruffle a few feathers, but I have to talk about it. On today's show, I am digging into the three standard marketing practices that we should really stop using. So stay tuned. What change becomes possible when a hundred thousand people are impacted by your work? This question came to me one day and I have been working to find the answer ever since. Hi, I'm Jess and I help online course creators amplify their influence and create a movement with their message, and on this podcast, I am sharing the simple strategies and systems to help you impact more people with your programs so you can create quantum growth in your industry. You are listening to the Quantum Course Creator podcast. Hey there, and welcome back to the Quantum Course Creator podcast, jess. Here and today, I am going to talk about something that might ruffle a few feathers.

Speaker 1:

I have been thinking about this episode and making notes for this episode for a while, and I decided finally to just go for it. I don't love talking about controversial topics, but I do like pointing out things that I disagree with online sometimes, and this is one of those things that has just been bugging me, so I have to talk about it. I feel like there are so many things in the marketing industry, or norms or standard practices that we've been told to do or have just experienced firsthand. So we assume that it's just the way that things are done. Right, we create this like, oh, this is how you do this. But some of these things, I believe, are like an emperor's new closed situation, where we only believe that they're true because we believe that they are true and they're not actually the way that we have to do things. And what's so interesting about this is, I feel like the things that I'm going to talk about today don't feel good for anybody. Like I'm pretty sure that we all feel kind of like, why am I doing this? But we do it because we were told to do it. Somebody who's making a lot of money does it, and they told us that in order to make a lot of money, we have to do it, and so we just kind of accepted that's the way that things have to be done. But I'm here to challenge you today and ask, like is that the way that it has to be done? Is that a rule? Who decided that this was a rule? And maybe, if we stop doing it, it'll stop being a rule. I don't know. So that's what I want to talk about on today's episode.

Speaker 1:

There's a lot of outdated marketing techniques that are just accepted that are actually causing like harm, like not like high level stabbing someone harm, but like low level, emotional, lower case T trauma harm, and they're creating negative feelings and shame in your buyer. And you may be doing this without even realizing it Right. The first time that I realized this I was like, oh shit, I didn't realize that what I was doing could possibly hurt somebody or could ultimately set me up for a negative situation in the past, which some of these things have done, and so I think it's important to call it out and realize that, like, if you're doing these things, it's not your fault, it's likely because you've been taught to do them or they were done to you, so you were taught through experience, and that now that we know better, we can do it, but are we can do better right, we get to decide what becomes the standard marketing practices of the future, and so we can change the way that we do things standardly so that they are better. So first, the first I'm going to dig into is actually one that just recently really came to clarity for me, and it's one that I have taught in the past and one that I'm still trying to, like, figure out how to unteach.

Speaker 1:

But again, like you know better, you do better, right, and that is using unwanted identities in your marketing. And if you're like Jess, you've literally taught me to do this. I know what, I'm sorry, but here's the thing. So we have been taught I was taught to use unwanted identities in our marketing, and what I mean by that is saying, like, if you are doing this, then you may be like an unsuccessful entrepreneur, right, that being the unwanted identity. Or like, if you're struggling to make money, then you're a broke entrepreneur or whatever. Right? Like, kind of putting a name on a negative situation or circumstance that someone has in tying it to their identity. And again, this is something that is widely taught and it's something that has become a marketing norm, but it's also something that's causing harm without us even realizing it. And the way that this works in marketing the reason you're taught to do it is it creates this desire to not want that identity, right? Like that's how it works. It makes people want the better identity, the successful identity, so they buy your program to get to that identity. And really, as I'm explaining this, you can see how problematic it really is. Right, like we're creating this negative association and putting a label on this negative situation just to manipulate people into buying our programs. It's not good, right, and people inherently want to move away from that identity that they perceive as negative, and when we position our product as the remedy to that, it makes them want to buy from us. Right, it makes sense why we do this in marketing. It is a solid marketing technique.

Speaker 1:

However, I was listening to Brene Brown's book Atlas of the Heart, which I highly recommend, and she shared something that literally made my mouth drop. And she shares and this is a quote that research shows that unwanted identity is the most powerful elicitor of shame. And I had to go back and listen to that again Research shows that unwanted identity is the most powerful elicitor of shame. And when I heard this, I about dropped my phone, because shame is not what I want my ideal client to feel when they're buying my program. But by really tying a circumstance that someone is in one that they clearly want to change if they're looking to buy my program to an unwanted identity, I am subconsciously creating shame and therefore kind of bullying someone into buying my program because they feel that shame Eek right. Oh my gosh, when I heard that, I was like shit.

Speaker 1:

And again, like I said, I don't have an answer for this, right? This is still what I am trying to unwind in my own marketing conditioning, but I feel like this is an important enough topic to talk about it and that creating shame and making your perspective customers feel shame is not what you want, right? Shame is a very, very powerful emotion and it's not one I ever, ever want to elicit in the pursuit of sales. This to me, it feels like exploitation, and that is not why I became a business owner. So instead, what I am trying to do, what I'm working on shifting my messaging and rewriting my sales pages to, is focusing on that wanted identity. What do they want to identify with? What is that aspirational identity and how can we demonstrate that our program is the way to achieve that? And how can we show that the gap between where they are and where they want to be isn't actually as big or as hard to achieve as they may think it is.

Speaker 1:

And I think when you empower people into realizing that they're closer than they think they are and that they can have what they want. That is just as powerful, if not maybe slightly less powerful, but in a more positive way than using shame to get people to buy something. Personally, I have bought things from a place of shame and oftentimes when I start using that program I spiral deeper into my shame because I realize how far away I am from what I want and how helpless I feel in that unwanted identity. So the people you're getting into your programs by using shame to get them there aren't necessarily the most empowered or the most ready to get the results that they want right. So rather than really focusing on shaming people into joining your program by creating that more empowering client there or that more empowered client, they are going to take action differently and they're going to get better results with your program anyway. So again, I'm still unpacking this one.

Speaker 1:

This was a really big one for me that really made me think about things differently, but it's one that I hope has kind of shifted your perspective about using unwanted identities in your marketing. So that's number one. We're going to start with the fun one. I think we should stop using unwanted identities in marketing. Number two and this one is also such a widely used practice, but it's one that I have really shifted away from in the last couple of years and I've always felt really weird about this.

Speaker 1:

But now I understand why, and that is sharing only the best testimonials. If you have ever been on a sales page, you have seen scroll, scroll, scroll through miles and miles of shiny, beautiful, successful testimonials for programs. And I get it right. I get why we only use the best testimonials. I get why people tell you to use testimonials right. Third party validation, huge right. When someone else says that you're amazing, people believe it more than when you say you're amazing. I understand why this is a practice.

Speaker 1:

However, only sharing the best testimonials creates a whole lot of problems, right. First, it creates unrealistic expectations. So everybody who joins your program thinks that they are going to be that shining student. They think that they are going to be the one that gets the shiniest testimonials, and I can say this as somebody who really measured myself against testimonials early on in my business. I wanted to be that shining testimonial. I had very big like star student vibes about me and in fact I won two different testimonial contests because of this right. I would do everything in my power to be the best one in the class and I wanted that validation. But at the end of the day, I was doing things that were out of integrity and out of alignment for me, in pursuit of somebody giving me a gold star. And, honestly, is it more important to get the gold star or is it more important to actually integrate things into your business and learn to do things the way that feels good to you, right? And I would continue to do things out of integrity in order to get a pat on the back by somebody with a big name, right? So I feel like I get it right. I wanted to be a shining testimonial.

Speaker 1:

I have been a shining testimonial for other people, but it creates unrealistic expectations because, as much as I felt like I got good results, I had so many friends inside of those programs that didn't get good results. And what ends up happening is when you only share the shiny testimonials and you have students that don't get those same results, it creates that internalized shame that they think that something is wrong with them, right, and it creates the unrealistic expectation that they can do this too. And when they don't get those results, they think what is wrong with me? And it creates that internalized shame that they are not good enough to get the same results that they think everybody else is getting. But that's the thing, too right. It's misleading because not everybody is getting those results. If 10 people join the program and one person hits 10K months and nine don't, and you only share the one that does, that's unethical, right. That's misleading people into thinking that the majority of people who join your program get this amazing result. But one out of 10 is not that great right. And it feels like you're only sharing, or it is only sharing the people who are incredibly successful with the program, which then creates those unrealistic expectations. And I get it. No one wants to share the results that don't reflect well on the program. But we can do a better job of sharing a wide range of results and also sharing where that person started right. And if you were making 9K before your program, you got to 10K. That is way different than someone starting from zero.

Speaker 1:

And this has always kind of bugged me about sharing testimonials in the coaching industry is, I feel like it takes what's the word I'm looking for? It takes credit for something that you didn't really do. I had a coach that I worked with for literally a month at a point in my business where I was first hitting my first 10K month, and she shared that testimonial. She was the reason it happened and, at the end of the day, sure, her coaching was, I guess, helpful. That was actually not the most positive experience, but she took credit for that success when that success was mine and I was already making $7,500 a month before that. So I feel like it creates I don't know testimonials are weird and they make me feel weird. I don't like sharing them, I don't like asking for them, and I think it creates this perception that I don't have them and I do. But I don't know. I have a weird feeling about testimonials, but especially sharing only the shiniest testimonials.

Speaker 1:

I feel like there's a better way to create better expectations of what somebody can Expect out of a program. For example, something I do like is sharing percentages. Right, I do think it's important to gather data, I do think it's important to gather results. But rather than only sharing like oh my god, this program changed my whole life and now I'm a millionaire because of it, why don't you share percentages like 86% of people in this program make back their investment in the first 90 days, or 72% of this program or people in this program I Like share that they got a positive result from it. I think that that creates a better expectation and is a better representation of the data as a whole and doesn't Completely ignore the people who purchased the program and didn't get results which, again, like you, can't be responsible. Just like you're not responsible for someone's amazing results, you're also not responsible for somebody's bad results. There is an element of personal responsibility that goes into that and I think that that's important. But that's another reason why we shouldn't claim Responsibility for someone's amazing results is we're also not claiming responsibility for the bad results, right, because there is that level of personal responsibility.

Speaker 1:

Also, while I'm on this little soapbox about testimonials, don't share testimonials from people who didn't go through your program and I know that that sounds like common sense, but this is something that I see a lot and it's something that's really sketchy. For example, I literally was looking at a sales page the other day where they were sharing Testimonials from their mentor and I've seen this right and I know that your mentor did not go through your program and the testimonial was more of like a Character testimonial, like so-and-so is the most amazing person, blah, blah, blah. But like, sorry, you did not go through that program and I know you didn't because you're Amy Porterfield, right, and so like, not specifically her, but like she's the person who shared the testimonial was obviously this person's mentor. But like, that does not give a realistic expectation of what somebody can get out of a program. Right, you didn't go through the program and we know that, and so just being honest about that. But also like, only sharing testimonials for people who went through the program, not like your private clients, right, like, I have helped my private clients make multiple six-figure launches, but I'm not gonna tell you that my course will get you that result, because nobody in my course has gotten that result.

Speaker 1:

Do I, as a coach, help people get that result? Sure, is that a realistic expectation for you taking my course? Maybe, maybe not right, depends on where you're starting. If you're starting at a 90k launch, can I help you get to 100k? Yes, but if you're starting from zero, can I help you get to 100k in your first launch? Probably not, right, there's a lot of factors that go into that, and so only sharing the shiny testimonials of your private clients is Completely different than sharing the realistic testimonials from your course, any who.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna get off this soapbox because I could make a whole episode about this. But number two is sharing only the best testimonials. We have to stop you guys. We have to stop, just stop, okay. Number three and this one I've talked about before, but I feel really strongly about it too, obviously, and I'm a bit lit up today, so we're just going to talk about it is using fake timers to create FOMO and false urgency.

Speaker 1:

Here's the thing Deadline timers have their time and place. I love a countdown timer, but only when it has an actual deadline. This is one of the biggest faux pas, I think, in evergreen marketing especially is creating these fake, super short countdown timers to try to move people into action when, honestly, there is no real deadline. The deadline is only there to get them to move. But here's the thing the people at Louis Vuitton don't start a timer when you enter the door. They know that you're going to buy because you want to buy something, not because your time is running out.

Speaker 1:

Can you imagine standing at the door of Louis Vuitton and walking in and them being like okay, click, you have 30 minutes to make a decision? And you're like uh, uh, uh, uh, I want to buy something, but I don't know what I want to buy. I want to look at this, but I don't know what I want, and I'm going to try this on and then, oh my God, if I walk out of this store and I don't have something, then I can never buy anything ever again. Are you kidding me, why? Why do we do this? People buy things that they want all the time without being pressured, right? You could not imagine the people at Louis Vuitton being like I'm sorry, miss, it took you 45 minutes to decide on which bag you wanted to buy, so you have to leave our store and you're never allowed in here again. We're not going to let you buy ever again.

Speaker 1:

It's ridiculous. Let people buy things when they want to buy them. People buy what they want without being pressured, and if you have to pressure somebody, your offer isn't compelling enough. Work on your offer. Work on your messaging. Make them understand why now is the right time for them to buy it without using an unwanted identity, please, but you don't have to pressure people into buying something.

Speaker 1:

I think it's total crap and I think it's really it's unethical, it's really crappy and we should really just stop doing it because people will make decisions when they're ready to make a decision, and it makes people buy before they are energetically invested, so they are more likely to request a refund or they're more likely to stick your course on their shelf and never actually use it. And here's the thing you became a course creator to help people get a result, not just to take their money and then ghost on them, right? At least that's why I became a course creator and the people that I work with became course creators to make an impact, to help people get a result, to impact the lives of people, to reduce the struggles that they're experiencing in a specific area. Right, not to take their money and then never hear from them, ever again. I hate when people don't log into my program. In fact, I have systems in place to kind of check in on them without being like a pest, but like hey, how's it going? Haven't seen you in a minute? Right, and I care about you. And that's why I want you to use the program. I want you to get amazing results and that's why I will never pressure you to buy something if it's not the right time for you to buy it. And I think that that's really important because people who buy when it's the right time to buy are better students. They're more empowered in the program, they get better results, they actually complete it.

Speaker 1:

And how many times have you bought something before you were ready to buy it because you felt like that was the only opportunity to buy it? I've done that right. I've been like, oh God, the doors are closing and I really want this, but I'm not ready to start using it yet, but I might in the future, so I'm just gonna buy it and see what happens. And then life happens and you never log into it until they're changing course platforms and email you and you're like, oh crap, I totally forgot I had that course. That literally happened to me this week and I was like, oh huh, turns out I totally bought that. But I would so much rather have students in my programs that are invested energetically when they make that financial investment.

Speaker 1:

And I think that using fake timers especially fake timers that, like I could go opt into that again and get the opportunity to buy it again, it's really disingenuous and it's gross and we don't have to pressure people to buy things when they want to buy them. So box. I'm just saying like I think that these are all things that are standard marketing practices, but they're not good marketing practices and they don't have to be standard if we decide to stop using them, if we decide to start treating people like grown ass adults who can make decisions when they're ready to make decisions, and we don't have to prey on them or create shame or make them feel like they're gonna miss out on something just to get them to buy. There are so many things in this world that are not marketed like that, and the fact that the online business world it's created this norm to market like that is so strange to me. Like again, you wouldn't walk into Louis Vuitton and expect them to start a timer. You wouldn't expect them to stand at the door and be like are you poor, do you hate fashion or do you wanna be a rich, amazing person? Like people who own Louis Vuitton. Like no, they don't create manipulative marketing. They create luxury marketing. They make you want who you think you will be with their bag on your arm. They don't make you feel like shit because you're currently carrying a bag from Target, right? We don't like the. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

Some of the worst advice is to like pick the thing that they hate the most or that they're struggling with the most and like, dig it in, literally. When a coach told me to dig it in, I was like I'm sorry what? We're pouring salt on a wound, like why is that okay? Why is this being taught Anyhow? I should probably stop at this point, but let's just all decide.

Speaker 1:

If you're listening to this right now which I assume that you are, because you're hearing these words in my mouth we're just gonna decide to stop. We're gonna put our hand up in the air and say I first name will no longer use unethical, shitty marketing practices just because some man told me to, amen, or whatever. All right, I hope you're having a great day. I hope that this was helpful. I hope that you're feeling good about how you're gonna move forward in the world and that we get to decide right. We get to decide what our standard marketing practice is, because we are the standard and we can change it and we don't have to settle for gross, unethical, shitty feeling things just because somebody told us to. So thank you so much for listening to the Quantum Course Creator podcast. I hope you have an awesome day. I hope that this was helpful and I will see you in my next episode.

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Jess O'Connell

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